Update: Bad things happen when you show up to Yankees camp wearing hideous shorts

I didn't think they were that bad... though some colleagues helped change my mind.

UPDATE, 3:21 p.m.: Joe Girardi talked about Joba Chamberlain’s weight, Andruw Jones’ role and Jesus Montero’s development. But before he began his media briefing here today, he tackled a much more colorful and far less important subject. And now, I give you the manager of the Yankees:

“I’m just laughing a little inside, that’s all. I’m trying not to. Shorts. Shorts are… something I didn’t quite expect. I just didn’t. Maybe from one of our younger players or something. Or my son. I didn’t quite expect it. And he’s sitting right in front of me. He could sit over there where I couldn’t see his shorts? I thought when we got to a certain age we didn’t dress loud. Or surferish. Now I wonder what he does when he goes home at night.”

Now, if you’d excuse me, I’ll be over at Publix. I’ll be the guy cruising the aisles for a pail and lighter fluid.

TAMPA, Fla. — Well, that was a painful wardrobe malfunction

Here’s a sampling of the abuse from Yankees camp this morning after I made the mistake of wearing this hideous piece of clothing. This was just in the space of an hour. Actually, I didn’t think the shorts were that bad. Most disagreed.

“I actually have a pair just like them,” one critic admitted later. “But I don’t think I’d wear ’em though.”

Brutal as they are, rocking these shorts is still a better alternative than showing up in a Speedo.

If you have a minute to kill at work, see if you can match the comment below to the smart-alec who made them. Answers listed at the bottom of the post:

a.) “Feinsand, remember when you wondered what ever happened to your grandmother’s couch? Looks like Carig turned them into shorts.”

b.) “Hey, nice shorts! You golfing? No, seriously, I like them…”

c.) “Couldn’t bother to change when you got out of bed this morning?”

d.) “Very patriotic.”

e.) “Like you said, those are one and done, right?”

f.) “You should have wallpaper made out of those shorts. Same pattern.”

g.) “Did you really get up in the morning and think nobody was going to say anything?”

h.) “Those are the worst shorts I’ve ever seen. You wear shorts like that, they should give you a free bowl of soup… Looks good on you, though.”

i.) “That’s California.”

Answers:

a.) Sweeny Murti, Yankees beat reporter, WFAN Radio, to Daily News beat writer Mark Feinsand; b.) Joba Chamberlain, Yankees relief pitcher; c.) George King, Yankees beat writer, New York Post; d.) Jason Latimer, Yankees media relations; e.) Tony Pena, Yankees bench coach; f.) Pete Caldera, Yankees beat writer, Bergen record; g.) Mark Kafalis, Yankees security; h.) Bryan Hoch, Yankees beat writer, mlb.com, in a dead-on rendition of Rodney Dangerfield’s character in Caddyshack; i.) Mick Kelleher, Yankees first base coach.

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