Pardon me, but I’m feeling a little Lost*

You know, back in college, I used to be quite the 'Smoke Monster' myself. Then I quit. Twice. (Thanks for the photo, Sam!)

HARLEM — Confession time: I have never seen an episode of Lost. Not one. If the lead character or characters hit me over the head with a mallet tomorrow, I honesty couldn’t identify he or she or them. And the ‘Smoke Monster’ I’ve been reading about on the Twitter? I’d have no clue.

Same goes for Avatar, The Blind Side (though I read the book, it is awesome), The Hurt Locker, Inglorious Inglourious Basterds, Precious, A Serious Man or Up in the Air.

I did see Up, and I’m glad I did, because there’s a sequence in the beginning of the movie that’s outstanding. The entire story is told with visuals and music, not a single word, yet it’s poignant. I love storytelling. Excellent stuff.

But the rest? No clue. I hear Avatar has blue people, and that people who have seen it want to off themselves, not exactly a hearty endorsement if you ask me. Yet, I keep hearing I’ve got to go. And I sure would love to check it out before heading to spring training, because once I get to Tampa, forget it.

Honestly, I’m a bit upset by my complete lack of knowledge. Last time I was up on the pop culture, NBC was crushing the prime time ratings. I hear that this is no longer the case.

I watched Heroes from the start, so I’m kind of married to it, despite the fact that it’s gone into the toilet. Community, a new sitcom, is very good too. But I love it because I went to community college myself, and the person who wrote the show obviously did as well, because it’s freaking dead on.

I once got on an Alias kick because I have a thing for the espionage thing — and for attractive women running around in their underwear.

Top Chef was fun, though I didn’t see any of it this past season. I watched Project Runway for a season. Yeah, I’m secure enough to say it: that Tim Gunn fella sure is stylish. I also got into Dirt and The Riches, a couple of FX shows.

Both have since been canceled.

So clearly, I’m out of the loop.

The problem is so many of the shows require a huge investment right at the beginning. Lost is the best example. Every time I’ve mentioned to a fan of the show that I’ve heard good things, they tell me I’ve got to start at season one and work forward. Which is simple enough, because during the season, it would be easy to buy DVDs and watch them on flights.

But what about 24, Mad Men, The Sopranos, Entourage and The Wire? I hear I need to start the beginning of these too. I’m sure It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, though I wouldn’t know first hand. Never seen it.

Jersey Shore, as far as I can tell, is a reality series about a situation regarding a chick named Snooki from Staten Island. That’s all I got.

Obviously, I can’t get to all of these shows. So what’s a scribe to do?

Which is why I now turn to you, let’s hear it. If I had to pick two shows to catch up during the baseball season, which should they be? Do I really need to experience Avatar? Is there a blog or website or news source that I can read to stay up on all this stuff, so that smoke monster references don’t go sailing over my head on Twitter?

Can you give me a pop culture education? Let me know.

* See what I did there? Lost, as in the TV show, get it? Clearly I need to stop blogging after bar stints…

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