Monthly Archives: September 2010

Baseball Terminology 101: ‘Hey man, why do you have The Ass?’

The Red Ass.

NEW YORK — A rainstorm washed away about two hours of last night’s Yankees-Rays game, and as I looked on from my couch on my night off, I couldn’t help but think about my colleagues in the press box.

“Wow,” I thought. “I can tell from these Tweets, a couple of them have The Ass.”

I’m sure The Ass has been used in many different contexts, though I had never heard of it until I began my days of frequenting baseball clubhouses. Now, it’s a part of my vocabulary, for better or for worse. Heck, there have even been a few days on the beat when I have had The Ass.

It’s no fun.

Anyway, here’s the definition:

* The Ass n. 1. a metaphorical affliction one suffers when subjected to frustrating or annoying circumstances, conditions, or behavior for which there can be no legitimate or logical excuse 2. one’s state of mind resulting from any encounter considered to “fry my butt,” “chap my buns,” or “burn my arse.”

Synonyms: The Ruby Rectum, the Scarlet Sphincter, the Crimson Caboose, the Red Ass.

Proper use in a sentence: “A few months ago, a good friend of mine got a case of the Albaladejos and couldn’t throw strikes against the Boston media. He still has The Ass.”

* Definition courtesy of

Other entries in the Baseball Terminology 101 series:
1. ‘‘When are they gonna bang this game?’

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