‘This isn’t the fucking PGA Tour’

Image

NEW JERSEY — Things I learned on the golf course today from the very friendly and hilarious older Middle Eastern man that I had the pleasure of playing with this morning:

When a ball ends up in a muddy bunker: “Get that shit out of there. This isn’t the fucking PGA Tour.”

When the guy ahead of you spends too much time fishing a ball out of a lake: “Somebody tell that guy lent is over. Stop fucking fishing!”

When your Brazilian son-in-law picks the name Laila Maria the name of his first born daughter: “At least it’s not Nicole or Madison or some shit like that. The girls I get lapdances from in Memphis are always named Tiffany or Amber. If he named them that shit, I would have killed him!”

When your son-in law tops a ball off the tee for like the eighth time: “You lifted your head, your body, your feet… like Jesus!”

And before you ask, no, I did not play with the Iron Sheik.

— 30 —

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s