Monthly Archives: July 2014

Houston, we have a problem

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HOUSTON — I’d be pissed if this weren’t so hilarious. Makes me glad I signed up for United’s text messaging service:

— Your 325pm flight to San Diego is delayed due to awaiting aircraft. UA259 now departs Houston 415pm and arrives 520pm

— Your 325pm flight to San Diego is delayed due to awaiting aircraft. UA259 now departs Houston 608pm and arrives 714pm

— United gate change:
As of 2:39p Jul. 17,
UA259 IAH-SAN
gate is changed to E21.
Subject to change

— Your 325pm flight to San Diego is delayed due to awaiting aircraft. UA259 now departs Houston 639pm and arrives 745pm

— Your 325pm flight to San Diego is delayed due to awaiting aircraft. UA259 now departs Houston 700pm and arrives 806pm

— United gate change:
As of 4:05p Jul. 17,
UA259 IAH-SAN
gate is changed to E9.
Subject to change

— United gate change:
As of 5:39p Jul. 17,
UA259 IAH-SAN
gate is changed to C42.
Subject to change

–United flight delay:
As of 6:02p Jul. 17,
UA259 IAH-SAN
now departs at 6:45p from gate C42
on Jul. 17.
Subject to change

— Your 325pm flight to San Diego is delayed due to awaiting aircraft. UA259 now departs Houston 715pm and arrives 821pm

— Your 325pm flight to San Diego is delayed due to awaiting aircraft. UA259 now departs Houston 730pm and arrives 836pm

— Your 325pm flight to San Diego is delayed due to awaiting aircraft. UA259 now departs Houston 745pm and arrives 851pm

— Your 325pm flight to San Diego is delayed due to awaiting aircraft. UA259 now departs Houston 815pm and arrives 921pm

— Your 325pm flight to San Diego is delayed due to awaiting aircraft. UA259 now departs Houston 830pm and arrives 936pm

— Your 325pm flight to San Diego is delayed due to awaiting aircraft. UA259 now departs Houston 845pm and arrives 951pm

That’s 11 delays and three gate changes, if you’re scoring at home.

A woman at the gate just held her phone up and asked “IS ANYBODY HERE HAPPY!” Nobody was happy.

A few guys with guitars have started playing in the waiting area. They just wrapped up a lovely version of The Lion Sleeps Tonight before belting out Country Roads.

A frail old man in a wheelchair just rose to his feet, staggered to the gate agent, and raised his voice in Spanish.

A gate agent just wheeled up a cart of candy and soda. Looks like a peace offering.

It won’t be long now, I’m sure.

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Good call, preppy

tigersATLANTA — Getting room service is one of my favorite perks of the road. It’s a perfect fallback for those days when you just want to stay in and get some work done.

But the only drawback is that moment when the food arrives and you’ve got to let a stranger into you room. I always thought that was somewhat uncomfortable and it seems like I’m not the only one.
It used to be that you’d answer the door and the server would just walk through the door and drop the tray off. But in recent years, I notice that they’re now trained to ask for permission to come in. At least, that’s how it works at Marriotts.

It’s pretty common for there to be some small talk while you’re signing the bill. It’s usually standard stuff: weather (have you been able to enjoy it?), the city (have you ever been here before?, what happens to be on TV (so, you’re a baseball fan?)

But sometimes, that small talk can be plain awkward, like this morning when the server noticed my T-shirt.

Server: “Bayside, is that in California or something?

Me: “Actually, it’s from an old TV show.”

(long pause, eyes frantically scan the room)

Server: “So, you’re golfing?”

And that’s how I met the only person on Earth who hasn’t seen an episode of Saved by the Bell. Also, bonus points for the abrupt subject change.

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